No One Likes Future Desmond

I started up Assassin’s Creed today. The first one!  I’ve been told that the second game fixes some of the problems in the first game, but, well, I’m a late adopter.

Just for the sake of discussion, I’ll say things I’m sure people have said before and explain what some of those problems are:

1. The game offers me cool ways of going from place to place, then says, “don’t use those ways, unless you wanna be caught by some guys.” Like I’m not supposed to gallop on my horse, since going fast is suspicious.  I decided to go fast anyway, and just outrun the people who were yelling at me for it, because it was faster than trying to “Horse blend.”
2. The “hiding in plain sight” idea is cool in theory but hiding by sitting down on a bench, and somehow that works, is sort of dumb.
3. Combat is just mashing one button over and over, with the occasional ‘defense stance’ if you’re fancy.
4. I can move around in a limited sense during cut scenes. This doesn’t work as well as it does in, say, Half-Life, because I’m in third person and every time I move I do a crazy jerking motion.  I’ve taken to doing the Robot Dance during cut scenes as a way to pass the time.  Old man blah blah stuff I don’t care about blah.
5. Very annoying!: Desmond is a prisoner, is trapped against his will, is being monitored, experimented on, treated like an animal, etc. I can walk around in free mode as him!  But no interaction button lets me do anything useful or logical such as “break shit,” “Punch doctor guy,” or “take woman hostage.”  COME ON ALREADY

I’m going to keep at it anyway since the environments are fancy and the free running and exploring bits are fun.


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